3 Reasons why Macho Man Randy Savage died for your sins.

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Reason #1: Slim Jims

Macho Man Randy Savage | Slim Jim
Macho Man Randy Savage | Slim Jim

Without Macho Man Randy Savage, Slim Jims wouldn’t be so wildly popular. You are a sinner for touching yourself at night and rewarding yourself by ‘snapping into a slim jim’. Macho Man didn’t ‘Ooooooooooooh Yeeeeeeeah’ for you to go on and look at naked ladies. Moving on.

Reason #2: WWE Television

Macho Man | WWE
Macho Man | WWE

If you didn’t watch wrestling when you were younger, it was probably because you were born AFTER Macho Man died. Macho Man Randy Savage punched and slaughtered his way through WWE so you could sit on your couch with a slim jim and watch people try to be the Macho Man. Selfish.

Reason #3: Miss Elizabeth

Miss Elizabeth | WWE
Miss Elizabeth | WWE

This is where you fucked up. Macho Man is in heaven shaking his fist at you because you ALLOWED Miss Elizabeth and Macho Man to seperate. It’s all your fault that he didn’t keep her in his grips. Fuck you.

These make no sense. But still, Macho Man died for your sins.

The All-New Northeast Turtle

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Welcome, first and foremost. I want to thank everyone for their support and all the encouragement in the making of this project. Northeast Turtle had started out as a Tech website, then App development and all kinds of fuckery. However, the decision was settled and we figured this was way easier and less time consuming. This doesn’t mean we aren’t interested in doing it because we are 100% committed.

With the Northeast Turtle Store up, running, and more, we hope to also integrate our own merchandise into a separate second business. This is literally awesome too.

We never made up our minds and never decided what was the right idea for a website and or product. However, We live in the Northeast and BITCHES LOVE TURTLES.

Northeast Turtle is our project and we are gonna stick to it. Live on NT.

Any questions feel free to follow me on FB, Twittah, Instah, Whatevah.